Honoring Your Loved One’s Final Wishes

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It’s never too early to sit down and discuss your final wishes with your spouse and family.

Talking about funeral arrangements and death can be difficult and for some family members, they just flat don’t want to talk about it. The fact of the matter is; it needs to be discussed and to the spouse that is asking to have this discussion take place, it is very important to them.

Discussing the final wishes of a spouse leaves less guesswork, ensures that each detail is carried out according to how they would have wanted it to. It will also take the burden off of the surviving spouse and not leave them feeling guilty should something happen that they didn’t have the conversation or things weren’t carried out the way their loved one would have wanted.

I have a dear friend whose son chose to donate his body to Science after death. His mother and my friend agreed which are her final wishes as well. Her son passed away and his body was donated to Science. His mother is such a strong and well-read woman and had already done her research on this but has also discussed it with doctors and her family as well.

It can be most difficult to discuss your post-death wishes with family members but remember, “Death does not take a vacation, nor does it sleep or slumber.” When it’s our time to die, we will surely die.

It is better to have had this conversation and have all details written down and taken care of.

One of my sisters passed away in 2001. She had already planned out the details of her funeral and was also an organ donor.

Knowing all of these things took a lot of the stress and anxiety off of our family. Our sister’s wishes were carried out just as she requested.

I remember the talk my husband and I had before he passed away so suddenly from a massive heart attack. We had just arrived back home from the funeral of one of my male cousins. We all knew as a family that our cousin would be cremated and it hit hard for the most part because no one in our family had ever been cremated before. My husband sat me down in the kitchen and told me he needed to talk to me. He then proceeded to talk to me about what his last wishes were after his death. He wanted me to promise him that I would have him CREMATED. At that moment, I was ready for the conversation to be over with, but the look on his face was much different, it was somber, he was serious. It was a look he had never given me before and I knew this was an important conversation and my husband was not joking around, he needed to have this talk and he needed me to be alert and completely understand what his wishes were, so I listened. He proceeded again to tell me that this was his wish and took my hand and as he kissed it, he asked me to promise that I would carry his wish out. He wanted his ashes spread at the old home place he and his family lived at in Illinois. Choking back tears, I agreed and I knew if anything happened to my love, I would have to be strong and carry this out to the end. I had never gone against him and never would.

A few months later he suffered a massive heart attack and passed away. Then and there I was left with either being the woman that my husband knew and loved so much and carrying out his wishes or at that time, do the unthinkable and completely go against his last wishes and have him buried.

Not even a question of a word. I put on my big girl shoes, ask my Lord and Savior for strength and carried out my husband’s wishes. He had a funeral and was CREMATED a few days later.

This conversation should take place with family members while all members are in good health and a sound mind.

Here are a few links someone may find interesting and useful:

https://www.loveliveson.com/how-to-have-a-conversation-with-loved-ones-about-funeral-and-burial-wishes/

https://www.thebalance.com/how-to-make-your-funeral-wishes-known-to-your-loved-ones-3505376