Grief – The Sugar and Salt Process!


When someone you love dies; often it doesn’t hit you all at once. Often times it takes a while to register; your heart and mind are not accepting this event. Grief is a process and can appear at any time, or any place. Sometimes it creeps up on you like grains of sand, slowly drizzling down through an hourglass. You may grieve in a happy way, remembering all the beautiful things your loved one said and places you traveled together. Remembering the many years spent together, doing silly things, like rolling in the snow on a cold winters day, or those romantic nights sitting by the fireplace, enjoying each other’s company. Remembering their smile, laughter, scent, their day to day activities; the love they had for their family, friends, pets, and life itself; can be so sweet that it helps the healing process, and through my Grief, I gave this particular process a name. I call it The “SUGAR PROCESS.My memories of my loved ones were priceless, filled with unconditional love, happiness, and so much gratitude. This is why I gave this period of my grief journey that particular name.

Then there are the days that you can’t get out of bed; unimaginable pain and sorrow are just too great. Little things in life triggering a breakdown; Unable to pack your loved one’s personal effects, look at their photos, hear their favorite music, eat their favorite foods, or visit their favorite places. This is what I have grown to call, the SALT PROCESS. When someone we love so much dies, it leaves a huge, gaping wound in our heart. Intense Grief can and will open that wound all over again. Creating thoughts of despair, releasing the tension, anger, survivors’ guilt, fear, loss of appetite, depression, and in many cases, hopelessness. It’s like pouring SALT on an open wound, not allowing it to heal. Often, it’s during this process, we can get stuck in our GRIEF! Love is Energy and we should all Live, Love & Laugh.
Enjoy your loved ones and give them their flowers while they are here on earth!


25 thoughts on “Grief – The Sugar and Salt Process!

      1. I hope you don’t mind me giving you the link. You do help people. They didn’t have the idea relationship but it was sad.

          1. He really was… 47 is just too young. Of course around any age would be.
            When I was in my 30s after my father passed I just knew I would in the middle of the night…couldn’t sleep until I started Church…now I’m more at peace. We just never know.

            I’m rambling.

            1. Our Father in heaven will definitely give us peace in troubled times. I think that feeling of I may be next to go is normal because you’re in a confused frame of mind as well as shock. I’m so glad you’ve found peace. I can honestly say, I have too!

          1. Fisical Year…I hear that a lot from our accounting department.
            We have installs going on and not enough time to do them.
            I have got so behind on reading blogs. I slowed down to writing one a day now except when I have a little time. I can’t wait til the rush is over at work.

              1. I’m with you on that one. I’m exhausted when I get home. My posts are easier than most because they are just blurbs on whatever. My hardest part is picking a song lol.

                  1. Well thank you… I am trying to be more diverse and write about more pop culture…At first I did but it’s hard coming up with a different subject every day.

                    Well I think I’ll go to bed now…you have a wonderful night and tomorrow. Thanks for chatting.

  1. It’s not the same but the closest I can say that I went through these is when my Mother and Father died… within 6 months of each other. It’s not the same as a husband or wife of course…but I can relate to what you are saying.

    1. That had to be very difficult for you. I am so sorry.
      Mother’s and Father’s are our Rock and when we break that apron string and venture out on our own and find someone to love, have children and build a life with; there is a certainly a new and different bond created with our spouses, so we do tend to grieve differently. That tremendous pain is still there, I’m sure, but that intimate connection between a husband and wife is indescribable.
      My mother is still living and will be 90 in December. My father died when I was young, so I never knew him.
      The sudden death of my husband made me take a step back and try to figure out how I was going to handle my grief journey. I knew I wasn’t going to allow it to defeat me.
      Max, I hope you have a great day! 😄

      1. Yea they had been divorced for years…it was a shock with my dad but with mom it was more of a relief because her condition. That sounds terrible but she was in horrible shape.

        Oh I know it would not compare to losing my wife…that is a whole different situation. I would feel lost completely. Parents you expect to lose…not a partner.

        You have a great day also.