10 Funny Children’s Poems!

While reading to two of my grandchildren this evening, I thought I would read them some poetry for children.  It turns out that it was a great idea!  They laughed so hard and didn’t want me to stop reading.  My times spent reading to them and allowing my 8 year old grandson read to me was priceless!  These are memories he along with his 3 year old sister and my grand-daughter will remember for years to come.  They love for grand mommy to read to them and with them and know grand mommy doesn’t mind getting silly and making them laugh. I am just doing my grandmotherly duties and loving it!cute-children-reading-books-vector-16041524

Below are 10 great poems for children:

Sick

By Shel Silverstein

“I cannot go to school today,”
Said little Peggy Ann McKay.
“I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I’m going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I’ve counted sixteen chicken pox
And there’s one more–that’s seventeen,
And don’t you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut–my eyes are blue–
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I’m sure that my left leg is broke–
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button’s caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle’s sprained,
My ‘pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow’s bent, my spine ain’t straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is–what?
What’s that? What’s that you say?
You say today is. . .Saturday?
G’bye, I’m going out to play!”

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/sick-by-shel-silverstein

Now We Are Six

By A. A. Milne

When I was One,
I had just begun.
When I was Two,
I was nearly new.
When I was Three
I was hardly me.
When I was Four,
I was not much more.
When I was Five,
I was just alive.
But now I am Six,
I’m as clever as clever,
So I think I’ll be six now for ever and ever.

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/now-we-are-six-by-a-a-milne

Waiting At The Window

By A. A. Milne

These are my two drops of rain
Waiting on the window-pane.

I am waiting here to see
Which the winning one will be.

Both of them have different names.
One is John and one is James.

All the best and all the worst
Comes from which of them is first.

James has just begun to ooze.
He’s the one I want to lose.

John is waiting to begin.
He’s the one I want to win.

James is going slowly on.
Something sort of sticks to John.

John is moving off at last.
James is going pretty fast.

John is rushing down the pane.
James is going slow again.

James has met a sort of smear.
John is getting very near.

Is he going fast enough?
(James has found a piece of fluff.)

John has quickly hurried by.
(James was talking to a fly.)

John is there, and John has won!
Look! I told you! Here’s the sun

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/waiting-at-the-window-by-a-a-milne

Grandad Can’t See His Feet

© Graham Craven

Published: April 11, 2019

Granddad’s got new glasses,
But he still can’t see his feet.
No, his eyes are not the problem.
It’s the amount of food he eats.

People often stop and ask,
“Is his belly real,
Or did he eat a basketball
With last night’s evening meal?”

One day he’ll surely pop
And Gran will go berserk. She’ll say,
“See what you’ve done, you greedy old fool,
Making me more work.”

Granddad will simply laugh and say,
“Now look, my turtle dove,
If I keep getting bigger,
There’ll be more of me to love.”

He calls himself the perfect man,
“Every Grandma’s dream,”
Then a smirk spreads across his face
Like the cat that got the cream.

Granddad may be extra large,
But he’s a sweet and lovely guy,
The heavyweight champion of the world,
And the toffee apple of my eye.

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/grandad-cant-see-his-feet

Snowball

By Shel Silverstein

I made myself a snowball
As perfect as could be.
I thought I’d keep it as a pet
And let it sleep with me.
I made it some pajamas
And a pillow for its head.
Then last night it ran away,
But first it wet the bed.

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/snowball-by-shel-silverstein

My Big Fat Cat

© Christian M. Mitewu

Published: May 2017

I own a big fat cat-
The fattest for miles around.
Wherever there’s lots of food,
That’s where he’ll be found.

He’s really good at eating.
It’s a talent, I suppose.
I’m sure if he keeps at it
He’d win the talent shows.

I own a big fat cat-
He weighs at least a ton.
He couldn’t run to save his life.
Yes, he isn’t much fun.

His favourite room’s the kitchen.
(I’m sure we all know why.)
He eats just about everything,
So that’s why, with a sigh…

I’d like to tell you, Teacher,
I’d like to tell you straight,
I might have “accidentally” dropped
My homework in his plate.

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/my-big-fat-cat

My Shadow

© Peter R Wolveridge

Published: November 26, 2018

I quite often look at my shadow.
I like how it follows me round
And does all the same things that I do
Without ever making a sound.

It hides when the weather is cloudy.
But I know it’s always quite near,
For later, as soon as the sun shines,
My shadow is bound to appear.

I’ve noticed sometimes in the evening,
While watching the sun going down,
My shadow gets all tired and lazy
And stretches right out on the ground.

But then when it comes to my bedtime,
I lie down and switch off the light.
My eyes close; I can’t help but wonder
Where shadows like mine go at night?

Perhaps it meets with other shadows,
Sits down and tells them about me,
The silly things that I’ve been doing
And hears its friends laughing with glee.

But when I awake in the morning,
I’m always delighted to see
As soon as I draw back the curtains,
My shadow’s there waiting for me.

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/my-shadow-3

Mystic Magination Night!

© Patricia L. Cisco

Published: July 5, 2018

On one mystic, magic night,
Jack O Lanterns glowing bright,
kids with bags of candy sweet,
roam door to door and street to street,
all dressed up for trick or treat!

Wizards with wands, pirates with hooks,
monsters and clowns with spooky looks,

kings and queens with capes and crowns,
a princess in her royal gown,

witches with warts and fairies with wings
movies stars with sparkling rings,

vampires with fangs that bite,
ghost that boo all dressed in white.

Imaginations taken flight,
on that one mystic, magic night.

Oh, the fun of Halloween,
be young or old or in between!

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/mystic-magination-night

A Child’s Goodnight

© Richard Thomas

Published: October 13, 2018

At night the sun lies down for sleep
And crickets sing a tune.
The bullfrogs croak and creatures creep
Beneath the watching moon.

The masked raccoons and possums prowl
Through meadows moist with dew.
The fireflies flash, coyotes howl,
And owls keep asking, “Who?”

At night our school is still and dark
And evening stars arrive.
And marble statues in the park
Appear to come alive.

Our nation’s flag’s been taken down
And city streets are bare.
Awakened bats soar over town
As nightmares children scare.

At night I hear my father snore
And baby brother cry
As shadows slide across the floor
And trucks go rumbling by.

I hear a siren’s urgent squeal
While I lie safe in bed.
My hamster racing on its wheel
And raindrops overhead.

At night I hear the floorboards creak
And neighbor’s car meow.
I feel my pillow press my cheek
And night air cool my brow.

I think about the recent past
And plan the coming day
Until I fall asleep at last
And dream the night away.

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/a-childs-goodnight

Magical Wishes

© Richard M. Deets

Published: December 2008

If I were a magician with dancing eyes,
I’d grant all your wishes for a smile.
Sunny skies full of waltzing butterflies,
New friends to share your toys (for a while).

Two big purple teddy bears that speak,
Poodles that laugh, blue noodles that sigh,
Silly little mice dressed in pink boots that squeak,
Five polka dotted ice cream cones a mile high.

A dozen daisies dancing in a velvet case,
Triple rainbows after each gentle rain,
A magic mirror pool to reflect your pretty face,
And seven pennies for wishes not too plain.

I would give you twenty pop-up clowns,
Candy Leprechauns counting pick-up sticks,
Unicorns to ride in parades through glass towns,
Colorful floating bubbles (just for kicks).

Furry little kittens to tickle your cheeks,
Fourteen canaries dressed in turquoise tights,
A pocketful of sweets to last you four weeks,
Three little piglets in fields of flowers flying kites,

Gold tickets for all the rides at your favorite sites,
Fifteen princes to carry all your stuff,
A blinking magic carpet for special flights,
And play rooms that tidy in a single puff.

I would hand you the world on a silver string
And listen to all the children laugh and sing.

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/magical-wishes

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